Ah I’ve been meaning to write this episode coverage for past two months but we are here now.
*Spoilers *You were told if you don’t care read on.
2020 has caused the entire world to feel like bystanders.
It’s frustrating I and anyone else can do is keep our social distance, wear a mask, stay home when needed. All these things you couldn’t measure the difference it’s making though so minor.
The news comes on. . .
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so powerless in my entire life.
Ironic I finally got caught up to Attack On Titan and season 3 episode 48 delivers a smack of reality I didn’t need. Even so it’s one of my favourite episodes from series, I loved getting to know Eren’s training officer from training corps military, Keith Shadis. Reflecting such a dominating presence when you first see Keith scolding his newly cadets, you would never imagine how at loss this man felt. Second half of this episode covers how he met Eren’s father and Keith becoming a training officer for the training corps.
“Walls far too cramped for me”
Keith was good friends with Grisha and Carla Eren’s parents but Keith suffered a toll on two fronts, unrequited love and jealously. When Grisha and Keith first meet, Grisha spoke with passionate conviction that ‘anyone can be special, a chosen one’. Keith takes on this advice and acting on locked up ambitions he held back for himself. I don’t believe Keith’s doubtless ideal he can do better than anyone else wasn’t wrong, he held a relatable strong sense of duty and gumption. Keith’s heart was in right place but continuous mission failures were ultimate slap, the role of commander did not suit for him.
I attempted to the learn the flute at 9, hang out with popular crowd, dress in emo black, not paint what art teacher wanted, wear fake glasses were all things I thought would make feel belonging, special in some sense but it amounted to nothing of shallow thinking. I’m unapologetic through these phases because later on realisation they didn’t amount to me.
“They’ve lost their imaginations, They’ll compliancy waste there entire lives un-shamed of the fact, all they’ll add to the world is shit”
This couldn’t be more truthful, Keith felt foolish because of his pride in the words he said and failed at amounting to anything better than last failed commander. Targeting his self worth as someone’s pebble in their shoe. Grisha a smart doctor, marrying Carla, the apparent greatness or rather happiness to Keith he will never possession of. Comparison is our worst enemy especially from power of social media, ‘people have it so good look’. Keith’s perspective on ‘chosen ones’ was backwards, wrong. Depriving himself of any release from exhausting thinking. That’s how comparison feels all the time.
Keith’s perspective also was full of raw truth that people will never admit to, as to what we can ever offer, when there are those shining so much brighter. You’re stuck at the bystander station your whole damn life then. Only if you choose to remain there yourself. I feel sorry for Keith was stuck there for so long but it’s sad he still couldn’t see even after Carla’s reply to Keith’s anger of outburst.
“Why should anyone have to be special? That’s just not the way I like to look at things. ”
After quitting as commander and joining military as a training officer, Keith couldn’t see his own greatness. Testing Eren and new cadets pushing them hard during their years and those who would come after. Keith made something of himself in the end guiding, preparing young cadets for exposure of brutality they will face when fighting the titans. To be special or great it matters that we were but born into the world from Carla’s perspective while I agree but my feelings say it’s the small things about a person. You don’t need a special activity, if you’re good at art or playing an instrument to deem you special. We should be listening to the words of those closest to us, not the comments of social media.
Keith thought he was a bystander always but blinded to his own special qualities along the way. Comparing yourself to the greatness you don’t have, comparison itself makes anyone a bystander. What is going on right now in the world isn’t about comparison here still I wanted to address this other meaning to term ‘bystander’. But the small things were doing for ourselves and people around us matters, every effort has affect.
Despite to the witnessing of things out of our control right now, the small contribution as civilians. Does not make us bystanders.
I had some frustrating thoughts lately and forgot this single episode was just what I needed to express that.
Fun content will be back after this !! Thanks for reading anyway 🙂
Hope you’re all taking care of yourselves Y’all.
I’ll see you all in the next post!!