Everything, Nothing In Love | OWLS “Lover” Blog Tour

 

We’re back with OWLS again and the theme of romance is fluttering about, last February we looked at competition in love but we’re delving deep here. the nitty gritty of what it takes to keep that spark going in a relationship. The do’s, don’ts. The suppression of inner lust, passion. Oh I hate ending tours lol.

 

 

You don’t know the awesome group of OWLS bloggers?

Owls bloggers started up two years and I’ve been a member since. We are a group of bloggers, youtubers and podcasters who do monthly blog tours discussing selected topic for that month. We are a group that loves to spread and promote acceptance within important worldly topics, disability, race, sexuality, human equality. Initially we used anime and pop culture only to discuss our monthly topics but now Owls has branched out beyond this into music, sports, books. The options are endless now for us and our growing group.

 


 

 Prompt: 

When it comes to romantic relationships, what do we look for in a partner? What core values do we seek when it comes to building a healthy and loving relationship? For this topic, we will be discussing some of our favorite couples in pop culture and what they have taught us about love and relationships, the good and the bad. 

“Flows Request”

Before you continue reading on you’ll want to check out Hikari’s post  over on her blog where she is covering the manga Strobe Edge.


 

What do I know about love? 
Nothing 
What do I know about love?
Everything

 

Beginning tours are so much easier then ending. You want to end on a good note so will do our best here.

I’ve loved seeing the different interpretations from my fellow members on the topic of love particular mention to Fred’s analysed post, cracking effort there. Some posts speak having experience in relationships or not, it all matters these view points, of what people see what they want for themselves in a relationship. The form of “lovers” I’ll be addressing is real and raw. No detour for me to take here because speaking about this topic in it’s simplest, real life form – is pinnacle ask to end this tour. In love there are many lessons that cannot be learnt through no experience or decision making. Now how it works I’ve learned through my own experiences and built up perspective.

 

 

Music artist Camila Cabello (Ex member of girls group Fifth Harmony) recently dropped last month this video related to her upcoming album romance, so excited for. I thought this video was beautiful from Camila’s standpoint about love. Her take on it was beyond refreshing to the definition and resonated with how I feel about love. In everything Camila expresses isn’t sugar coated, through her words Camila is speaking from when a new love is about to begin. Camila’s words are truest to an extend, but we’re not here to talk fairytales here. Camila own definition of what love does to us is true but beyond this awaits is a whole uncharted course.

No-one is an expert on love and relationships, only through experience and decisions alone is when you become aware of what you want in a relationship. Love, relationships is stressful, beautiful, hard, like no other feeling, gut wrenching, completes you. So, let me share my lessons through relationships, love and maybe the takeaway will help someone out there.

About to get down to the core here. Don’t I always lol

 


 

Diving In

 

We’re all living on borrowed time
I’ve been holding my breath all night
Waiting for you

I’m diving into the deep end
And I’m not scared, I’m not scared
And I’ve been way over my head
And I’m not scared, I’m not scared, no

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKxShU52NDQ
 

 

The shallow is the safe zone, we’re too scared to take that leap into the deep with risk factors and what lies ahead sometimes. We’re sometimes scared to take chances on people for particular reasons. It wasn’t till few years ago I stopped waiting on the side lines on a potential relationship with someone and took the dive. You’re second guessing yourself and revert back to the safe net, but the only thing you can rely on is what you’re feeling for that person then and now. I relied on my feelings and took the plunge, there is no regret for me in this decision. Adhere always to how you’re feeling if you’re wanting to take the dive with someone, the role of ‘taking risks’ either is a roadblock to you or opening. Everyone will be confronted to a situation like this in, it lead to something good for me. But I get you, It’s a scary step to take.

First Lesson: Adhering to your feelings than the fear of the unknown.


 

Communication Is Everything 

 

You, me
We’re face to face
But we don’t see eye to eye

Like fire and rain (Like fire and rain)
You can drive me insane (You can drive me insane)
But I can’t stay mad at you for anything
We’re Venus and Mars (Venus and Mars)
We’re like different stars (like different stars)
You’re the harmony to every song I sing
And I wouldn’t change a thing

 

Connection is everything but moreover communication just being able to talk. To talk, really talk is not by texting, leading to misplaced assumptions, reading into every detail. It can mean from the smallest thing as a short message, you’re used to a long one. They haven’t replied to you all day. Texting is an exhausting, tool full of anxiety I’ve found brings into a relationship. Give me face to face, and over the phone than messaging any day now. He should message me first, she should first, too and frothing in this endless cycle, that’s draining.

I’ve had to make the hard decision to step away from a relationship because communication was declining towards the end. To the point of questioning the other person’s feelings for me, which lead to falling out of love with them. I’m giving you the brief here but myself was turning into the giver and not having reciprocated in return. You need to be met halfway, otherwise things will go downhill fast. Get out what you really want to say before it’s ever too late.

Fujimoto a tsundere left it all too late to say how he really felt to Kobato. It’s obvious on the dudes face throughout the manga and anime. Common trope in romance, shoujo particular for protagonist to be under massive hesitation to say how they really for – one reason or another. I love and hate this trope because it draws out the forming relationship little longer but you just want them to spill the beans already. Fuijimoto hesitation I find strangely sweet and sincere, having to not like being close wth anyone due to his past. The moment it’s too late, I feel bad for guy but . . . not spoiling what comes next.

Any little squabbles you’ll have, it will pass or not but only if two can meet half way. Without the half way factor and you get stubborn about being the one to take the first step to reconcile, well. . . you need to revaluate things. If you truly want to still be with that person, you’ll talk it out no matter how long it takes. There is no hesitation if you’re truly in love with someone.

I’ve learned being active together, going on date nights is essential to keep things moving because while being together is magic. You need personal breathing space. To concentrate on anything important. Being together all the time isn’t always a good thing, only if both parties are fine with that. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, I truly believe in every sense of this quote because when finally you get to see them, it means everything the feeling pours over you. Personal distance in a relationship is not a bad thing, I consider it healthy in order to maintain stability.

Second Lesson:  Don’t be the stubborn one and just meet halfway. Get out what you really want to say before it’s ever too late. Don’t beat around the bush.

 


 

You Need Chemistry And Attraction

 

So let my lips say what they want to say
And let my hips move how they want to move
Let my hands do what they wanna do
I don’t trust myself around you
It’s like my body got a mind of its own
One touch and I’m begging for two
Strung out and I don’t know what to do
I don’t trust myself around you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uccFz3QjNUI

 

Attraction, physical attraction is just as important as communication. When you feel that pull towards a person, you can’t control it. It controls you, you don’t deny it and that’s apart of loving another. Instead of suppressing, just give in to it all. This is the intoxicating part of love I love, that makes you feel giddy, excited and there is no other amazing feeling.

Third Lesson: Give in to the attraction.




Accepting All 

 

I love you as you are
I love you as you are
And when the whole damn world
Don’t know what they got ’til it’s gone

And don’t worry about the hate
It don’t fit in those boxes they create 

And it’s tearing you apart
It’s tearing you apart, yeah

 

Daughtry is popular this post but lead singer Chris has a beautiful way in conveying the emotions from the lyrics. The song “As You Are” is a special one, his wife (Deanna) of 18 years was the inspiration, Deanna, who came out with being bisexual. Deanna had already written old lyrics for the song years ago, Chris tweaked it and gives us this honest, beauty of a song expressing accepting a person for all of they are, their imperfections, the lot. Chris wanted his wife to feel open and free, the sentiment is so warming. We all seek acceptance for our perfections and floors, it’s enough to receive all of this from one person, just one.

I haven’t come across that ‘all acceptance’ yet in my life but I’ll know when I find it. To me now it’s not worth getting in deep with someone if they can’t accept all of me. I’m and your wasting you’re time. Holding yourself back to just not feel lonely in life, being someone else to please another, you won’t be happy in the long run. Why would I settle for anything less than to be myself with someone I love?

Fourth Lesson: If they cannot accept all of you, move on.


 

Procrastination

 

Is it a yes (Is it a yes)
Is it a no (Is it a no)
You are not ready
Cause a girl like me can’t be on hold

 

 

It’s okay to procrastinate for a little over any tough decisions you may have to make in any relationship. Whether girl or boy this applies to, keeping them hanging on the end of the thread for too long is cruel.

Rumbling Hearts anime can help me out here. When Haruka gets into a accident, goes into a coma, Takayuki falls apart. Haruka’s best friend Mitsuki takes advantage of Takayuki’s vulnerability the two begin to sleep together. Haruka waking up opens a can of drama, classic right sleep with your best friends boyfriend. I never felt once for a second Mitsuki and Takayuki deserved to be happy, because of Takayuki’s incapability at decision making. Don’t give me “who knows when Haruki would have woken” they’re allowed too? Load of rubbish. There is a time and place, this is just plain old betrayal. The dude thought he could have his fill of both woman, best of both worlds, again this factor applies how woman treat men from a potential relationship standpoint if there are two suitors in the picture.

‘Getting your fill’ from both parties is disgusting and greedy. People aren’t objects, you can pick up whenever you feel like, then discard when your done. Your dishonouring people’s worth as a person especially if you are close with said person, friend, lover whatever. Putting people on hold is just setting up false hope for them which you may not intend to give. Procrastinating back and forth between two people intending to make no decision and having no regard or care for them, you’re scum.

Honest people are allowed to procrastinate in a meaningful decision, that is more than acceptable. Not an individual who is greedy and has no regard for anyone just wanting to take there fill.  These individuals are immature and in no way ready for a relationship.

Fifth Lesson: Never settle for second best, only number one spot. It’s okay to procrastinate over important decisions but not for too long, it’s not fair on the other party.


 

Be Shameless 

 

So many mornings I woke up confused
In my dreams, I do anything I want to you
My emotions are naked, they’re taking me out of my mind

Right now, I’m shameless
Screamin’ my lungs out for ya
Not afraid to face it
I need you more than I want to
Need you more than I want to
Show me you’re shameless
Write it on my neck, why don’t ya?
And I won’t erase it
I need you more than I want to
I need you more than I want to 

 

As you can tell Camila is a massive inspiration for this post and her song ‘Shameless’ covers something I learned about love within the last two years. To be more open about my feelings, not hide, to be shameless as this seductive song conveys. I’m all about privacy in my relationships like anyone else, we’re not all actively open about our emotions, inner desires. I wasn’t until, one relationship changed that, expressing more affection and letting my emotions take over.

This became a healthy dynamic in the relationship, gave me a new lease on love itself. Words aren’t the only way to tell someone you love them. If a next time came round now, I’ll have the gained acceptance in my own feelings and not hold nothing back, because what’s the worth in that if you deny it all.

Sixth Lesson: It’s a healthy dynamic to express affections that are suppressed. Words can’t spread your feelings enough sometimes.


 

What do I know about love past tense?
Not much
What do I know about love now?
Everything 

Love changes you, it changed me for the better through my experiences and decision making. You’re constantly learning and still there is so much I don’t know. All you can do is put into practice your past mistakes for the future. You don’t come out the same in love but I like this me now.
Hope you all enjoyed our Lovers tour!!

If you want to join us at OWLS, we’re a welcoming bunch click here.


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I’ll see you all in the next OWLS and next post!! 

LitaKino

5 thoughts on “Everything, Nothing In Love | OWLS “Lover” Blog Tour

  1. Amazing post! I agree with you so much. One my my besties is currently feeling insecure in her relationship, and I spend nearly entire yesterday to talk it out with her.
    We ended on a conclusion that is very much in line with this post. In a relationship it is not only about your significant other it is about you… you may love your partner very much but to make things work you must also love yourself.
    Give in to what you need, not just your partner.
    I recognise a lot of those conclusions in this post and I am happy someone points it out like this. The ‘Disney’ sentiment can ruin a lot of relations. It’s not all about being a good girlfriend , boyfriend or other lover. That should work out anyway if you are a good you.

    Liked by 1 person

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