Prepare as this month’s topic is a raw, deep one. Which upon I requested as this subject is a sensitive yet beautiful one. Things about to get raw and honest folks.
If you have found your way here, that would be from the lovely Irina and her warming post on friendship. Going into a personal perspective of the friends she’s made in this ani blogger setting and people she’s become close with. It’s a very moving post which recommend you go read. For March’s topic was upon my request to cover as thought was about time it was. My other team members so far have wrote some beautiful pieces on this subject and look forward to reading the rest.
Although some people may like to be alone at times, we all have that one special friend or a squad of friends who we kick it and have some good laughs and fun with. However, there are friendships that don’t last a lifetime and usually, they end due to a falling out or a misunderstanding. For this month’s topic, we will be exploring some of the best friendships in anime and pop culture as well as the friendships that ended suddenly. We will talk about what a true friendship means to us, what we learned about ourselves and others through broken friendships, and our definitions of a “good friend.”
Since I requested this topic, you’d expect for me to be all ready with my big idea for this post? Well nope, right now as I write this I’m winging it. There were a million shows could have chose from to talk about subject of friendship. The choice was too hard. One thing I knew this post was going to be a personal and reflective piece. That’s what I’ll go with.
I was late in learning what a real friend was.
One of the main reasons I love anime so much is the ability it has over us. In conveying the emotions from real life aspects. Friendship and love are two of the biggest themes combined that stand out from the crowd. There’s not one person who watches anime who hasn’t felt connected to a show. Reflecting upon real life experience. It’s like seeing through another lense that what is happening on the screen. Is something that might have happened to you in your life. Every time watch a new series even, I’ll find an connection somewhere in there.
Two particular anime that saw right through me from a part of my life. Don’t always like to think about. Were reflected through Say I Love You and Kimi ni Todoke. Now it’s only coincidence that these two series are in my top romance favourites haha. It’s main characters from these series reflect my high school years back in England. I’ve spoken before about those days are not ones like to reflect a lot on. Not all was bad in certain parts. It’s always left me feeling numb over the subject.
High school we all know is not roses and sunshines, I at least thoughts things would become better. In the making friends department, though that was not to be. You may think now for those that know me, that I’m quite social. I was anything but back then. Even now the struggles of making friends, being socially awkward have followed me into adult hood. As apart of my Autism, it was only around in my young teens, had become aware. In how I interact with people was completely different, most of the time would not wish to engage in conversation. Would go into shut down mode.
It’s sounds like anyone else who has social anxiety which is correct. It’s completely different when it’s in an Autistic setting. It’s always been a struggle for me to constantly, still even now. As someone with Autism I’ve constantly felt misunderstood which is when watching Kimi ni Todoke. Sawako was a character instantly became connected too. For her weird faces and in being related to Sadoka from the ring movie. Sawako was constantly misunderstood by people, that she was cursed and deemed unapproachable. All she ever wanted was to experience the normal things, making friends and going out doing activities.
That’s something I wanted in high school even more to make more friends. As all my two primary friends were at other schools. For the total of three years I was friends with three girls. Whom met in home room will call it. I’ve mentioned before in another post that the desire to not want to be alone. I called these girls friends but they were really bullies. Bullies as friends it’s really sad right. Fact was I didn’t want to be on my own, so I put up with them. Genuinely one point I considered these girls my friends but really:
You guys remember singer JoJo? Did that song back in the day “Get out right now it’s the end of you and me”. Recently Jojo made a come back in the last couple of years since leaving that horrible record label. This song F.A.B when first listening to it wish had been around in my high school days. This songs puts in a nutshell those three girls Fake Ass Bitches.
Fake ass bitches
When they smile in your face, but behind you it ain’t well wishes
When they eatin’ all the food off your plate and they don’t do dishes
When they words and they actions blur and they don’t know different
No time for these fake ass bitches
These lyrics right here.
Speak in everything I feel about calling those girls who I called “friends”. How forgiving I was every time they said the word “Sorry”. In how fake it sounded to me and never delving into why they were sorry. Not admitting the truth. Throwing guilt trip and ultimatums making me feel like I was wrong, I had done something wrong. Brushing under the carpet like nothing happened. Friends don’t do that. Fake Ass Bitches do that. Ah man feels so good to say that now. Back then I never had the confidence. I recommend checking outJojo Mad Love albumrawest songs I’ve heard in a long while.
It was depressing those three girls followed me to college, they left me alone for the most part. But I managed by this time to befriend three people. This point in time I was Mei of how she was at the beginning of Say I Love You. Blocking out people completely, your trust had lessened in others. Mine had shot down to rock bottom.
I was tired of Fake Ass Bitches at this point. We all get like that though. No wrong in admitting that.
Out of three people I befriended, one they stirred change in me like me they had a Autism. It was a surreal to meet someone who understood in how I felt in hoping to make any friends. This person eventually dated but was cut short when I moved to Australia. Were still friends to this day and talk still.
Coming to the aussie land where I learnt what real friendship was even more.
Fifteen year old me, moving to a new country oh was a vulnerable time. Starting a new school when just getting over starting college in the UK. I was scared out of my whits first few weeks from going different groups in high school the popular, etc. Got to know some people then at a bowling party was where I met my best friend then. Finding out she loved sailor moon, anime and had autism like me. It was like Deja-vu. This moment…
I learnt what a real friend was.
Someone who accepted and liked me for me and didn’t belittle me in anyway. Didn’t do the things those girls did. They never accepted me.
You Don’t Need A Thousand Friends
Me and my best friends are no longer friends now, things changed. I’ve learnt one important thing all the friendships that I’ve had past and present. A handful of friends is better than wagon full. I’ve never been someone who wanted a million friends or be surrounded by so many. Just for me one person that could accept me and treated me as their equal. That’s all I ever wanted personally from friendship.
Until moving to Australia I’ve experienced that more over than I ever thought. One of my favourite moments from Kimi ni Todoke. Sawako, Ayano and Yano make up after a rumor mess then they all start crying. That scene always makes me cry as Sawako realises true friendship for the first time. It’s a beautiful moment indeed. I think of myself in that moment knowing the blessing of what a real friend is now.
Through all my experiences of friendship feel it has only made me stronger from fifteen year old me. To not put up with Fake Ass Bitches, who pulled any of what those girls did. It may seem like this whole post I’ve sounded sensitive and your right. I have been because this has always been a sensitive subject. But it’s not one I’ll hold back speaking my true feelings on. Only thing I believe in with anything I speak out is rawness.
To Be Honest
Thought me and my best friend were going to be friends for life. It’s not till you get older you learn the rule. ‘People will walk in and out of your life’ and even if you don’t want that. There have been moments I’ve had to make hard decisions with friendships past tense, these lyrics will say it in a nut shell for me:
It might not be what you wanted
But at least I’m honest
But at least I’m honest
It might not be how you thought it
But I’m not that heartless
At least I’m honest
Were mentioning Jojo’s song again but this girl got some great songs. Her song ‘Honest’ exactly speaks about the word honesty. If I’ve had to end a friendship for my own reasons, people have not liked that decision or my honesty. In these cases I’ve been honest with myself and people have left me with no choice. Sometimes you are left with no choice through people’s actions or words. Depending on the situation. I wasn’t honest with those girls to tell them to get lost that I didn’t need their friendship. Making me feel like a tool and nothing.
I wasn’t brave enough then but now I am.
Treasure The Now
Lyrics (F.a.b) By Jojo Ft Remy
How about a hand for the real ones?
Put it down, had my back since day one
Never hear about ’em throwing no shade, no
So if you one of us, stand up
Tired of the gossip think you had enough?
Don’t worry about ’em, middle fingers up to theseFake ass bitches
Through past friendships, those that have walked in and out your life. Many friendships I wished hadn’t ended leaving me full of regret. Don’t feel that regret. It weighs on you in the long run. Not for the better. Remember to keep looking around at the friends or close ones around you still. Their treasures you have to treasure for the future. There the ones that accept you for who you are, that have got your back no matter what.
Compared to back then now.. there are so many here I would consider good friends more over than real life ones I’ve had. I’ve got a couple of online friends known for more than seven years (One I’ve met), who truly consider besties. Feel blessed here in this blogging community, whom I’ve gotten to know and befriend.
Nothing makes me happier knowing many accept me as I am. Who have seen the ins and outs of me. Isn’t that the best feelings? Friends who know the real you and accept that no matter what. No matter the disagreements, fall outs you might have. The ones that will be up straight with you about everything, admitting if they’re wrong or your wrong. Honesty straight up. Who never make you feel like nothing but something precious. The ones who’ll put up with your crap when no one else will. That is what I learned now a friend is to me.
Haha my goodness this post was probably tough to swallow 2000 words later. You guys got raw me on a platter here in more depth. But I hope you enjoyed the read either way. This was great to write a piece like this for once and hoping my other blog members have fun with it.
In a nutshell Friendship is amazing OF COURSE!!
This post was corny as? YASSS!! no regrets here.
Check out who has done their post for March right here:
Here’s who’s coming up:
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I’ll see you next month for Owls and next post!!