Burden Of One’s Self And A Hand That Reached Out

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Remember those special episode coverages that were coming well were beginning with Fall 2017 The Ancient Magus Bride. 

*Minor Spoilers*

Meant to write this a couple of weeks ago but never got around to it. The ancient magus bride has been such a enjoyable ride watching, which many of you will know. If there one thing about this series that it nails is emotional factor. Don’t think there has not been an episode where my feels haven’t wanted to hide away. From the impact this show has on me. I’ve come to love our main protagonist Chise a great deal. She’s had much misfortune befall her but not once complaining. Chise was like this wilting flower that was fading fast but Elias coming to pick her from the bunch. It’s allowed Chise to come out bloom and learn the strong-will, residing inside of her.

Episode 12 just struck me hard of something that is always in the back of my head somewhere.

Having no place to call home or family for so long, it’s left festering inside. Chise thought noone wanted her and was seen as nothing but a burden. This part in the series Elias won’t tell Chise anything about his past or himself. Shutting her out, mean we all know what that’s like right? Chise confides in Dragon Nevel who Chise help pass on peacefully and the lines Chise was saying aloud. Recollected constant thoughts going on inside of my own brain, with how I am as a person. Coping with daily life with autism, I’ve felt like a frustration at times to those around me. Including my parents, whenever having mental meltdown about the smallest thing. Felt my autism at times has been a burden then becomes a burden to others.

That people will become bored of me and just not want to know me or be friends for example. The discussion during this episode Chise had with Nevel, made enough impact to think about something as deep as this.

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Nevel questions Chise that would Elias really get rid of her and is he that kind of person. Chise knew that Elias wouldn’t do that but still sought the reassurance and theres nothing wrong with that. Like Chise having reassurance from others is something rely on often, I’d go crazy if I didn’t. Others words, opinions calm the tension and storm inside that might swelling inside, thats stressing you to your limit. My parents are a constant reassurance for me in my life, I don’t know what I’d do without them or that to be honest, thought scares me.

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Things become deep delving into when Chise’s mother committed suicide and why she didn’t kill Chise? Nevel in a strange sense thanks Chise mother. That she was here with Nevel and for the people Chise has saved. Many people assured me was never a burden and that there was this way I had, of making people smile and laugh. In general love helping people feel good and make them smile, thats always been apart of my nature. Nevel I think saw Chise as a blessing and that Chise reached out to others. Even when a hand wasn’t reached out for Chise, she still anyway. In the strangers Chise came across apart of Chise’s nature she didn’t want to ignore their pleas. Me and Chise share this trait closely in wanting to lend reassurance when others might not have around them or not know where to turn.

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It’s been an eternal struggle in valuing myself, feeling have nothing to offer anyone. Seeing this quote made me think in how little I think of myself, for those I’ve helped, put a smile on their face. In their gratitude towards me it’s like I’m saying that it’s worthless. Makes me sad it being put this way and obviously is not how I feel, makes you think what impact negative thinking has. It may be still a struggle but being around who don’t think your a burden will have the greatest impact of more positive thinking. It was crazy accurate how this was episode was for me in terms of feelings, I’ve dealt with for the longest time. It’s still a work in progress for one not to feel like a burden is what I got from this episode. Truly the ancient magus handles tough humanly emotions which are made seen through a different lens. A lens so clear like seeing right through my own feelings, this is when anime reminds me why I love it so much.

This was a bit of a personal one but had been meaning to write this for a while now, still hope you enjoyed regardless.

If you haven’t checked out the ancient magus bride, click on the crunchyroll and go.. go like now !!! 

I’ll see you all in the next post !! 



  1. I really have to get back to this. When I had the flu last year, I kind of lost track of it. Not because I did not enjoy it, but a lot of other things came up as well. I guess I’m going to have to go on a bingewatch soon.
    But…that’s not really important. What is important is the way you wrote this very personal post. I always said that I think it’s very brave when people show a side of them that is quite honestly not easy to share. But that’s what you did here.
    I have had a minority complex for a very long time, and it has never gone away completely. But you know what it got better. And you hit the nail right on the head there: because of other people. No one can handle things on their own, and by spreading happyness and helping other, you are also helping yourself.
    I hope you realise how awesome you really are though! This post was really amazing to read. Even though I still have to see this episode and read a few spoilers for it now (and no, don’t worry that really is nothing I care about I won’t enjoy the episode any less), I will be thinking of this post when I finally see it.
    Keep having faith in yourself, and finding that quite honestly very high value that you really are 😊 Because with posts like these, you really let people think….and find hope too. And that, in my book, makes you awesome! 😊😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You will love the ancient magus bride for sure. Thankyou for the kind words I was not expecting this post to get so much attention. It honestly was a vent for me. Glad you enjoyed this post either way XD

      Liked by 1 person

  2. What I liked about this episode is that Chise, now having been with Elias for a while and experiencing all these incredible things, feels like she’s back to square one. And I think that’s how life is, how life goes. We’re not like a typical anime, where there’s an arrow straight up from some bottoming-out point and we blossom at the end of some challenge. It takes years to grow, and growth isn’t linear—it’s up and down and sideways and all around. It happens when we think we’re regressing, and ceases when we think we’re growing. It occurs when we aren’t looking, and takes root when we see our weakness. And that’s what’s happening to Chise—she is growing so much because of Elias, because of her determination, because of the wonderful magic and people around her, because of the challenge of those who would hurt her, and it’s not always a happy thing.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences. I love reading personal posts because they convey what’s meaningful about anime. I could care less about some random review of a series—I want to know how anime changes us, reflects us, moves us. I want to know what it shows us about being human, and that’s what you did here.

    Take care of yourself, and do your best! Your best, after all, is more than enough.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love reading personal posts as well they’re my favourite to read and the emotions, connection people have with whatever series. But this episode involving chise just hit home for me honestly and thankyou for commenting and kind words 😀 Means a lot XD

      Liked by 1 person

  3. One of the reasons I love Ancient Magus is because it provides a universal sense of comfort. We’ve all dealt with some form of regret, shame or feeling we don’t belong, and it’s so touching to me that you’ve found a voice to reflect and calm your own worries in Chise. Actually, that quote about valuing oneself struck me in the same way but for slightly different reasons. It still comes from the guilt of feeling you’re forever being held up by others though, so I can sympathise with how you feel, and I’m happy it can be a comfort to you too.

    Oh man, it’s just so beautiful that a show about characters finding meaningful connections to others can mean exactly the same for viewers like us.

    Liked by 1 person

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