Hello Everybody 🙂
Hope your all doing good.
So by the look of the title of the post looks like a serious one. About a month ago I reblogged a inspirational post from Anime Commentary talking about how anime helped them through depression and other issues they dealt with. If you wish to read the post for yourself please click here. I told Anime Commentary that their post had inspired me to write my own kind of refection which is what I’ll be writing about today. This was all the spur of the moment thing yet again as, lately I’ve been feeling the need to relief myself in some way.
Real life or on the interwebs, everyone who I talk to or knows me they are all used to me so happy and hyper all the time. Especially in all of my youtube videos where truly I am always myself, when doing videos, I get to bring out my crazy side their and on my blog. Noone would really known underneath all that I have a very negative/moody me AND, before anyone says anything NO I DON’T HAVE DEPRESSION. Posts like this you assume will be about some sort of anxiety or depression when you see the title Personal Reflection, yes there will be some talk about anxiety. But just making it clear no talk about depression in here.
Before I get to all of the serious stuff, Anime like for Anime Commentary has helped me in many ways more than one. In many posts ago, it may have been a nomination award where I revealed a deep fact about me, some may have forgotten but that I have a Mild Autistic Disorder. Which in other terms is Autism Spectrum Disorder, My condition is mild I am classed as a high functioning adult where I am capable of understanding things to an extent. There are all different forms of Autism out there before anyone is quick to judge, it is different for everybody who has the condition, personally for me is socializing/making friends, can be very negative and high anxiety/stress levels.
Why are you telling us this Lita? Because I feel openly comfortable talking about this topic on here and hoping this posts inspires/helps others. For where anime fits into all of this Autistic talk, it has given me something to be obsessed with (haha that sounds not creepy). In people having Autism we can be obsessed about one particular thing, can be something that people may find strange, in my case it’s anime. It distracts me from all things stressful, somewhere I can dive into my down little world.
Anime in general is seen as a weird obsession to others who aren’t a fan of it. So it’s thank god when I discovered there were others like me who enjoyed it as much as I did, I felt alone in the anime obsession more when I was younger. Round about when I was 12 – 13 back when I lived in England, constantly would be glued to my computer screen for 12 t 14 hours straight, just looking/doing anything to do with anime. Back then I felt needed to have that obsession as my Autism/negativity was quite bad due to finding it difficult to make friends, to have any kind of social life.
Those horrid times I just fell into my dark pit of negativity, I would either read anime fan fiction or watch the taped videos of Beyblade I recorded. No idea what else back then would have been my one obsession, really have no clue even thinking about it now. Sure I liked doing art a lot but mostly would just end up drawing a lot of anime characters hehe. Anime was a true escape in my younger days and that love for it grew when I was fifteen and moved countries. To the great land of AUSTRALIA, it exploded meeting people who loved anime like me and how big the culture was here but even so my negativity still never went away.
Even now me a working person, still need that obsession no matter what. It’s not just a hobby for me anymore, it’s a life love, doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of that. All that matters is that it matters to me. As I was saying earlier underneath it all I do struggle with bad anxiety and stress levels, the only thing that makes me forget about what is causing me stress or anxiety is anime. I can become one emotional wreck nearly every week it can happen now over something but when I flick on a show or read a manga volume, I’m as happy as pie. (well nearly all of the time)
You all know how much I love Sailor Jupiter, my favorite female character of all time. She is a role model to me, who cares if she is fictional? right. 🙂 I have always admired how confident and strong willed she is, always have wished for me to be like that. Zero confidence when it comes to doing anything I have, she makes me crave that one day I’ll finally be able to stand up for myself. Plus she is an amazing cook, seeing all cooking while watching Sailor Moon always made me hope I can cook something better than toast.
Like for Anime Commentary talking about shows that mean very special to them, recently I posted on Unime TV My Top 10 Anime In Life and one of these on their is quite special. Nagi No Asukara is one of the most beautiful series I have ever seen, it’s a series I know I can rewatch over no matter how much it makes me cry. When I watched this show, at the time was very emotionally stressed and all those worries just disappeared like waves after seeing this show. The connection all the characters had, the deep emotions flooding from the show, so infectious and just reminds me you never take each moment in life for granted. Nagi No Asukara is such a tranquil series that just has the ability to whisk my worries away and reminds me of how much I love water/swimming.
It has a special place in my heart
Haha I won’t be rambling on about what loads of shows are special to me that is for another serious post. Too many shows have affected me in such a positive light and taught me important life lessons. Some people may read this and think “Okay… we can see you really love anime” where there they could not understand from my point of view and I don’t care if they don’t. Anime reveals me when I have fallen in my dark pit of negativity, that itself is hard to put into words alone right now. I would never show that side of me here on my blog as this place is where I wish to be positive, all the negativity I deal with on my own.
Ah I feel much better after writing this and I guess this gives you more insight into me and my love for anime. Hope this posts helps anyone else out who deals with, anxiety, stress, autism whatever the hell they have. Didn’t really want to write an essay post about this as it can be a sensitive subject Autism for me, don’t be afraid to come chat with me if you yourselves have a similar condition. I have met so many amazing people here on wordpress but would love to meet people who have any condition like I do and love anime. Always am looking for new anime people to talk to so if you ever wish to please send me a private message on my twitter or or email me at email@example.com
The point of the post was not for sympathy or pity, just for me to reveal myself which I have done now.
Thankyou for anyone that reads this or even comments on this post
Will mean a great deal for me ❤
I’ll see you all in the next post ! 😀